A mind of its own.

It's 12:51 am.

I have to be up in almost six hours.

Oh joy.

My brain is going a hundred miles an hour. So much thinking is going on. Sometimes I just wish I could turn it off. Forget everything and let my mind go blank. Just so I can have some peace and quiet. Some rest and relaxation.

Is it normal to not want to depend on someone else?

To always have a backup plan in case what your counting on doesn't happen?

I'm in a rut where I just don't know of anything anymore.

I want to be in dependant and rely on just me and my resources.

But can that happen?

I barely make enough money to get by for me and Koda.

Let alone for when Kaleb gets here.

Makes me nervous.

But nothing is impossible. I can do anything I set my mind to.

School.

I hate that word.

I want to achieve something in life. Bigger than what I have so far.

And with that being said more schooling is needed. But I'm just not ready for it. I don't want to go back to those days of paper writing and math problems.

But maybe that's just the kid in me and really I need to just get it done now while I'm young.

Grrr, if only I wanted to be something that didn't involve eight years of schooling.

Jealous

These people keep adding me on Facebook. Random girls and guys I have no idea who they are. Come to find out, they all have something to do with Shawn. The girls are all mostly ex-girlfriends or friends of his ex Brandy. The guys, well one of them was Brandy's little brother, the other was a friend. Now why are they adding me? That is the question. I've blocked Brandy so that I don't have to deal with her childish drama. My roommates are convinced they are adding me so she can spy on me. But why spy one me? Whats the point? Is she jealous? I've never had someone try so hard to get information. I don't understand the whole jealous ex-girlfriend. Why can't girls just grow up and realize its not ever going to work for them again? I'm the girlfriend now. See it, know it and get over it!

(Just had to get that out. It's very annoying it is.)

I love your love the most

"I was waiting on Prince Charming and the white horse... But then a Soldier came by in his Humvee and stole my heart."

Only about a month left until Shawn gets home. He's ready to be back to.

And I'm more than ready for him to be home. Lots to do before Kaleb gets here.

Lots of things coming up soon.

I'm going to Kodiak the first week of August to watch Amy's kids.

Baby Shower on the Eleventh of August.

The fair starts on the 20th I believe. I think I'm working my days off there.

Shawn gets back around the 26th.

I called into work today, I needed one more day off. I know I know, I'm bad.

But its been nice. Koda and I have had a nice lazy day. And going into a lazy night.

The roommates are staying in Anchorage for the night, so we ordered pizza and are

having a Friends marathon.

Funk.

I've been in such a funk lately. Don't want to do anything, yet don't want to do nothing.

I'm unhappy with my job, but don't know what to do about it exactly.

I want to quit sooooo bad. But I'm scared of having no other way of income.

Shawn comes home next month! Yay, I can finally say that!

The 26th to be exact.

In the month of him being home before the baby comes, we need another car and a place to live.

And a new job.

Oh and I don't think I've told you the name we've picked.

Kaleb Charles Everett.

Charles is a family name on both sides.

Well thats it for now. Back to doing nothing ;P