A mind of its own.

It's 12:51 am.

I have to be up in almost six hours.

Oh joy.

My brain is going a hundred miles an hour. So much thinking is going on. Sometimes I just wish I could turn it off. Forget everything and let my mind go blank. Just so I can have some peace and quiet. Some rest and relaxation.

Is it normal to not want to depend on someone else?

To always have a backup plan in case what your counting on doesn't happen?

I'm in a rut where I just don't know of anything anymore.

I want to be in dependant and rely on just me and my resources.

But can that happen?

I barely make enough money to get by for me and Koda.

Let alone for when Kaleb gets here.

Makes me nervous.

But nothing is impossible. I can do anything I set my mind to.

School.

I hate that word.

I want to achieve something in life. Bigger than what I have so far.

And with that being said more schooling is needed. But I'm just not ready for it. I don't want to go back to those days of paper writing and math problems.

But maybe that's just the kid in me and really I need to just get it done now while I'm young.

Grrr, if only I wanted to be something that didn't involve eight years of schooling.