You know that feeling of being so stressed over just about everything that you want to break down and cry for a little while?

Thats how I'm feeling.

I can't put my finger on exactly whats stressing me out, just everything. From the kids, to work, to my dog and car. Things in the past and things in the future.

I think I'm just tired. Need sleep.

I put in my new availablity form for work..

They put it into action next week.

Only working 3 days and they are 6 or less hours.

A 16 hour work week.

It scares me.

I know I can't work nine hour shifts anymore, it just about kills me. My feet hurt so much.

And I've got another job, working for Kirsten at Heritage Birth Centet 2 days a week.

So in reality I'm working five days a week. But it's still got me worried.

I need my own place so bad.

I got so much stuff from the Baby Shower and no where to put it.

I WILL not live with parents. Mine or Shawn's.

I can't do that. I just can't.

I just got back from babysitting in Kodiak on Wednesday, and here it is Friday and I'm now at my parents watching the kids for the weekend while they are in Kenai.

I think I'm to old to be babysitting.

Anyways, off to bed before another early day of work tomorrow.

Ahhh

So I'm still in Kodiak. Last day here. Amy and Jake fly in tomorrow morning and I fly out later that night. It's been fun but I'm so ready to be home, in my own bed with my puppy. Oh how I miss my boy! It's weird but he's like my baby, so not seeing him for a week is driving me nuts. I need to have a dog around me at all times! It's just normal.

I talked to Ben and Megan yesterday. I miss them so much. I admit I cried a little after I got off the phone. I've spent the last three summer's in Utah, so this year has been hard not seeing them. But I was excited to hear they are coming up for Christmas! So I can't wait to see them!

We cleaned all morning today. Betsy is ready for mom and dad to come home. She threw a giant fit and was didn't want anyone. The boys started asking if she wants mom and dad, so of course she started screaming "mommy, daddy!" They decided to call them. I wasnt going to stop them, they could try that, although I think it would make it worse for both sides. Amy and Jake talked to her trying to calm her, but she wasnt having any of it. The boys thought it was the funniest thing. I decided it was nap time. When in doubt, they are tired lol. She went right to sleep, didn't even fuss about it.

Jacob wants me to make Enchiladas for dinner. I LOVE enchiladas! But I'm sorta done with cooking lol. I've cooked more this week than I have all summer, maybe even all year! I know it's sad, but it's true. When you live alone and just cook for yourself, it's hard to bring yourself to really put effort into making food. Easier to just through something in the oven of microwave.

Shawn comes home soon! He texted me the other night, he's so ready to be home. And I agree, he called while he was out with his friends, just to say hi and he misses me, it's nice to hear his voice. I don't get to hear from him a lot lately, just a text before bed really. They've been keeping him pretty busy. We're still not sure exactly when he will be home, we just know it's the end of August. It would be nice if they would give him an date though...

Betsy is still sleeping, the boys are now running amuck outside, Jacob is still cleaning here and there. He is like the cleaning nazi lol, the house has to be clean or he goes crazy. And it doesn't help that the boys just ignore him...and me to for that matter lol. I just feel like the house will be clean when we get around to it. It's not bad enough that it stresses me out, so I don't worry about it. I guess thats where how we were raised kicks in. It's a good thing to, then later on in life he wont have a problem keeping a clean house. Lol.

Taco Cups and Avacado Salsa

Makes 18 cups

1 lb Ground Beef

1 Packet of Taco Seasoning

2/3 cup Water
1 can black beans, drained

2 cups chedder cheese, shredded

36 Wonton Wrappers

Favorite Taco toppings, salsa, sour cream, lettece, tomatoes.

Preheat oven to 375

Brown meat in a skillet and drain off fat, add the taco seasoning, black beans and water. Mix and simmer for 5-10 minutes until water is absorbed.

Spray muffin pan cups with cooking spray. Place one wonton wrapper in each cup. Divide half the taco meat between the cups, sprinkle half the cheese on top of each cup. Repeat layers: wonton, taco meat, cheese. Bake at 375 for 20 minutes.

Avacado Salsa

2 large Tomatoes

1 can of black beans, drained

1 can of corn, drained

3 or 4 avacados, depending on how much salsa you want

Garlic Salt

Mix together beans and corn, chop up tomatoes and add them. Chop up avacados and add them, do this last so they don't get to mushed up. Add garlic sald and pepper and whatever else you want for taste. Then enjoy!

Adventures in Kodiak

One of my favorite books. And I'm pretty sure it was based in Kodiak, AK. Lol. Today we decided to go on our own bear hunt. Mainly a sort of To See What We Can See trip.

And this is what we saw.

Painting on a rainy day

Late to bed, early to rise...first to nap?

It was a late night lastnight. I think the timing was all off yesterday really. We all slept in till about ten, ten thirty. So Betsy didn't take a nap till 2:30 or so, slept till almost five (we actually woke her up) dinner was around 7 and then a movie. So I didn't send the kids to bed until about ten I think. And of course it always takes awhile to actually get them in bed after sending them. Betsy went down easy and was ok for about five minutes, then decided she wasnt ready for bed. So I took her down to watch some Kipper. But of course I didn't know how to work the computer, or the tv... I didn't want to get any of the boys down with us because then Betsy would want them, so I got my computer, took her back upstairs to Amy and Jakes room, laid her on the bed and turned on Kipper. We both finally fell asleep around 12 when my computer died.

As if it we wernt up late enough, Betsy was up and ready to eat at seven. So we ate breakfast, got my charger and watched more Kipper. (It's the easiest way to keep her from wanting her brothers." So now it's ten and the boys are finally up, they are working on chores upstairs while Betsy and I are downstairs staying out of their way. We are going Bowling today! Should be interesting with miss B. And I'm sure Betsy and I will both be ready for a nap soon lol.

Breakfast Cups

Mmmm yummy. This morning after checking that the kids were in fact still in bed (It was 10:00, how could they not be up yet!?) I decided to make breakfast.

Breakfast Cups
I found these online at Pintrest.

3 TBS Butter 6 LG Eggs

6 Slices of Bacon 8 Slices of Bread
Salt and Pepper to taste.

Preheat Oven to 375. Butter or grease muffin cups.

Cut off crust on bread (this makes it easier to put in cups, then flatten with a rolling pin.

Cut flatten pieces of bread in half and carefully fold into muffin cups overlapping. (You kind of have to try a couple different ways and see which way works for you.) Brush bread with melted butter. Cook bacon until almost crisp (Or like me where it is all done and extra crispy, I'm the worlds worst bacon cooker lol. Oh and make sure you set off the fire alarm and wake everyone up!) Lay one bacon slice in each bread cup and crack an egg over the top.

Bake until egg whites are just set. 20-25 minutes.

Then enjoy! They are easy and really yummy, taste like an Egg McMuffin but better!

Day of Rain

I arrived in Kodiak lastnight around 7:30. I was greeted by the gate by Josh Earle. Wow he has gotten tall!! He's almost an inch taller than I am and he's only 11! Next was Sammy, he's tall to, I think it's been at least a year if not two or three since I have seen them last. We then took a tour around Kodiak.. Took us all of five minutes lol. It was cloudy and gray and had been raining.

Today is not much different. Except it's been raining the whole day. I keep wondering if it's ever going to let up, but nope, I think not. It might just rain the entire time I'm here. That would be my luck. We woke up pretty early. I think Betsy was up at six. Took Amy and Jake to the airport and then back home. We had a easy morning of playing board games and watching Betsy favorite show Kipper. Then took off to town in search of some chinese food for lunch and movies for a rainy day. Betsy was out like a light five minutes after being in the car.

When we got home we ate and then put her down for a nap. I feel like I could use a nap to, but instead Sam and I made cookies. Now we are watching Inspector Gadget 2. And it's still raining.